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Posts Tagged ‘nihilism’

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children,
you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

-Matthew 18:3

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This is Love

There was once a Doctor, named Mad-Man Meticula, who was considered the wisest man the world had ever seen. Doctor Meticula had earned the name “Mad-Man Meticula” for how crazy he was, and also his looks; White coat, frayed gray hair, black science gloves used for science- and glasses. Mad-Man Meticula was known for his glasses. He had a very peculiar pair of spectacles that were strapped around his head and had two Microscopes protruding from were you would normally see regular lenses.

One day, while finishing up his work being a super-genius, Dr. Meticula published something in scientific journal ‘The Reduction Times‘ about the powerful human emotion of Love: In it he claimed that love -the emotional force that poets, protesters and prophets alike all claimed is what held humanity (and the whole universe) together- was nothing but a bunch of chemicals firing in the brain. If that wasn’t enough, he also said that anyone doing or believing anything based in love, was dumb.

Just after it was published, the paper was critically acclaimed by everyone who wanted to feel smart. Scientists who were friends of his threw him a party. And while he was partying, the fabric of the society slowly started to crumble as every news show, blog, and hipster coffee shop was talking about this ‘scientific breakthrough’.

People started using this mans ‘discovery’ as an excuse not to be loyal, chaste, or honorable. In the aftermath, a lot of people cheated, lied, and got their feelings hurt- in the name of science.

Then the people who really believed in love got upset. The Poets sent him several verses about how he was wrong, and begged him to see the glorious shimmering truth and surreptitious beauty of love in the cosmos. They told him that continuing down this deceitful path would make everyone forlorn and morose and… I could go on but you get the picture, poets’ll talk all day if you let them.

Dr. Meticula read through everyone of the letters looking for something solid to critique, but decided to respond to them by taking scissors, and cut up there sentences into a confetti of parts of speech, and mailed them all back to them with a note saying “these were all just a bunch of silly words.”

The Poets, being composed mostly of wimps, got all willy-nilly and spent the rest of their days writing stanzas over being Smitten by Mad-Man Meticula’s Witty Hand of Might.

After the poets were defeated, the hippy protesters quickly chained themselves outside his laboratory and swore that they would starve themselves until he declared that Love was real, and also that Love ruled the whole universe, man.

While Meticula could not get inside, he did not get upset. Instead, he went home, and came back five days later with a full course thanksgiving dinner, placed it on the sidewalk outside his office, and let his dog eat it in front of them. The Meal was so big that the dog didn’t get to finish until three days later, by which time the protesters quit and went to go eat something.

One by one the Doctors enemies were defeated, and to treat himself, he decided to get some fresh air and take a stroll through the park. While strolling through, he witnessed a child playing with plastic toy soldiers. In the midst of the kids joy, after defeating the fictional green army with his stomping feet, the boy shouted “I AM GODZILLA, AND I LOVE DESTROYING ALLL OF THE THINGSS!!!!”

godzilla

The park was never the same

Now a normal person would go ‘aw, thats cute,’ or, ‘man, that kid needs help.’ and walk away minding there own business. Not the Doctor. He just could not let this go. Never having dealt with children before, he did not know how much of a mistake this was.

After he went up and told the boy that love was not real, the boy stepped on another soldier and said:

“IS TOO! I CAN FEEL IT! I LOVE DESTROYING STUFF!” the war-torn child started banging on his chest and growling at the toy soldiers like the doctor wasn’t there.

The Doctor replied, bending at this knees to get to the child’s level, poking in with his microscopic glasses to better explain to the boy, “You can feel it in your chest only because you have chemicals in your brain that tell you to feel it. Thats a fact of science, do you take science classes?”

The boy looked at him with an angry face. “Your stoopid!!” the child shouted, and turned away annoyed. He picked up a rock and started smashing it on the toy soldiers.

“It’s not stupid, it’s science!” The Doctor was getting snooty. “It’s a mix of serotonin and dopamine in your medula that make you have these feelings. There is nothing really there but those chemicals in your brain. You play with lego’s, don’t you? Well love is really just a bunch of small chemical blocks, like lego’s-”

And then it happened, he didn’t see it coming ’cause of his goggles were zoomed in so much. The child threw a rock at him and hit him square in the face, and broke his glasses.

Naturally, the Doctor got angry. “HOW DARE YOU!” he erupted, “THAT HURT!”

“What hurt?” said the child, playing with the toys like he did nothing at all.

“The rock you threw at me!”

“That wasn’t a rock,” said the child matter-o-factly, “that was just a bunch of dopabeans in your majoola.

For a second the doctor was mad- how dare this insolent child strike him with a stone!

In the midst of his anger, his brain instinctively tried to come up with a rebuttal- but nothing came out.

This was not normal.

He thought some more- but still nothing.

The Doctor had officially run out of dopabeans.

After the paradox of his beliefs had sunken in, he continued to walk the park with his glasses off, and for the first time saw love in action. A cheesy coincidence of A romantic picnic just a few minutes away, where a couple was twiddling fingers and sharing bites of food. A random bro-hug between two men in a bro-mance parting ways. A father flying a kite with his son. Birds singing songs of love amidst the trees- the whole nine yards. Now that his glasses were off, he could really see what was going on.

He began to postulate that the bonds made between these people formed with this “love” were more than just mere chemical reactions, but were in fact literal and real, and could potentially be as important as any tool or mineral resource (like the rock he’d been hit with), if not more so.

Shortly after, and after much thought, Mad-Man Meticula quit his job, and renounced all of his work in neurology, and moved to the Himalayas to be a monk. And the Godzilla child conquered the toy soldier army for the 5th time that week.

The moral to the story, if there is one, is this: Just because a man who wears fancy pants says something does not mean it can’t be the most stoopidest thing you have ever heard.

Thats right; Stupid, with two O’s.

Oh yeah, and some of life’s biggest problems can be solved by dropping everything you think you know and just acting like a child for a few moments*. So please, before you base any of your decisions off of what someone else says, go outside and play Godzilla for a half an hour and see if it still makes sense afterwords. I guarantee you this will save you a lot of trouble in your life.

*the author does not encourage throwing rocks at strangers**, and does not accept responsibility for anyone throwing said rocks at anyone else.

**unless they really deserved it.

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One may ask of the man who believes in environmental determination, whether the assertion of such a belief is nothing but the spouting forth of words in patterns  to which he was conditioned by his environment.

-David Bohm

It is the opinion of many educated men that the universe, at its core, is a deterministic entity, with absolutely no wiggle room for chance, banana’s,  or freedom of thought. Everything, ever is the result of a tight knit chain of cause and effect events, and apparent chaos and unpredictability is just the result of ignorance.

There’s a reason people think like this.

People used to think this way because back in the day the kings wanted to rule over everything you did and twisted religious scriptures towards their favor.

“God sees everything” they would tell commoners, “and I speak for him, so if you do a bad thing, you will be PUNISHED!”

But rather than helping control people, the plan backfired, and a lot of people had a lot of sex, engaged in heavy acts of violence and made blasphemous pagan-christian christmas tree crossovers out of pure rebellion.

Amidst all the chaos and confusion, the easter bunny gave birth to the catholic church to help solve all the worlds problems

After which, the Easter bunny was nowhere to be found until the centuries later with the invention of the mall, where he magically reappeared for no reason at all.

But i digress: Skip over roughly a millennium and a holy war later, after most of that unhappy stuff happened: Many men with funny mustaches decided it was no longer healthy to follow the orders of your priest, your politician, or believe in any God. With no one around but the Monty Python sketch comedy group to argue against their points, the world fell into a godless decline were Elvis could shake his hips on television and South Park got away with saying the ‘S’ word over one hundred times over basic cable.

But alas, something was very, very wrong. Somewhere along that timeline, someone realized that with no church or diety, no one was around to hold power over their heads and tell them what to do or go to hell, and they missed that. They needed someone to tell them what to do.

Shortly after Elvis danced on television, a man named Pierre-Simon Laplace wrote a poem, and went like this:

if you knew the initial starting point of every particle in the entire universe, you could hypothetically calculate what was going to happen from then until the end of time- and because you could do that, its safe to assume that everything ever is determined (hypothetically).

How Romantic. And to believe that’s the same poem he used to snag his wife.

Point is, the universe tells you what to do. And even better than that God you had had, you didn’t even have to wait until the next life to have it happen, you were being told what to do right now.

Although to this day no one has scientifically replicated Laplace’s speculations. Ever. In fact, evidence has been shown the  contrary is true- but that hasn’t stopped people from taking their own leap of faith and accepting it as a scientific truth anyway.

But on the same level, most people who aren’t into Laplace find the idea that everything ever, from your neighbor picking his nose, you sneezing last week, and the Vietnam war, was all determined an untold number of years ago, at some “big bang”, is stupid- As they should, because it is.

Many people assume that, aside from determinate and indeterminate events, there is a third party, a quality unconditioned by either side that domesticated primates (humans) call intelligence. Intelligence gives them the ability to learn and perceive what is real from what is not real, and gives them the option to pick out what they want out of the infinite possibilities the world provides them. If we did live in a world were everything was determined, all observations of that fact would be ultimately meaningless. With no third party perspective, how would you even be able to tell whats what? Buddha only knows that the universe could be lying to you.


In a truly deterministic world, not only are all your emotions, biology and actions of every waking second determined- but argument, scientific experiments and logical thought are all results of that exact same process. Everything you ‘see’, ‘believe’, and ‘discover’ was all really pre-ordained 14 billion years ago.

Whether or not this is true is irrelevant. What matters is that you believe it- because you ‘have to’. The logic behind all of this is probably why determinists are so hard to convince otherwise; but at the same time why they are all completely wrong.

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